1、早上,儿子哭着跟我和老婆说梦到奶奶死了,我说没关系,梦都是反的,梦到奶奶死,死的可能是外婆。。。我现在摸着脸上的三条血痕欲哭无泪。。
2、妻子快过生日了,特别想要一辆一脚油门就可以开到100公里的车。她提示丈夫:“我要的生日礼物,是可以一下从0变到100的东西。”生日那天,她开心地发现家门前有个箱子,打开一看,里面放的是秤……
3、现在好多女人,都是早上老公还没起床的时候就化好妆,穿好漂亮的衣服出门了。晚上等老公回到家的时候,妻子却已卸好妆,穿着自己邋遢的睡衣在屋里看电视了。这样的丈夫很可怜,看不到妻子最漂亮的一面。
4、为啥好多男人不明白一夫一妻是保障他们还有机会娶到妹子的优良国策!如果一夫多妻,有身价的妹子是人家的妻,有长相的妹子是人家的妾,次一点的妹子是人家的婢女,你连母鸡都分不到一只啊!而且好看的男人还是人家的男宠!你。。。只能撸了!
[我老婆在超市工作,每年春节职工们只能在初一休一天,而领导却能休8天。领导休假完了上班第一天总要开会发表讲话,他每年开场白总是这一句A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway.After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand. "How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked. "We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150."孩子在车库打球时掉了一只隐形眼镜。找了一会儿,他告诉母亲找不到了。母亲出去了,几分钟以后,拿着隐形眼镜回来。“妈妈,你是怎么找到的?”孩子问。“我们找的不是同一件东西,”母亲回答,“你找的是一小片塑料,而我是在找150块钱。”[
1、早上,儿子哭着跟我和老婆说梦到奶奶死了,我说没关系,梦都是反的,梦到奶奶死,死的可能是外婆。。。我现在摸着脸上的三条血痕欲哭无泪。。
2、妻子快过生日了,特别想要一辆一脚油门就可以开到100公里的车。她提示丈夫:“我要的生日礼物,是可以一下从0变到100的东西。”生日那天,她开心地发现家门前有个箱子,打开一看,里面放的是秤……
3、现在好多女人,都是早上老公还没起床的时候就化好妆,穿好漂亮的衣服出门了。晚上等老公回到家的时候,妻子却已卸好妆,穿着自己邋遢的睡衣在屋里看电视了。这样的丈夫很可怜,看不到妻子最漂亮的一面。
4、为啥好多男人不明白一夫一妻是保障他们还有机会娶到妹子的优良国策!如果一夫多妻,有身价的妹子是人家的妻,有长相的妹子是人家的妾,次一点的妹子是人家的婢女,你连母鸡都分不到一只啊!而且好看的男人还是人家的男宠!你。。。只能撸了!
[我老婆在超市工作,每年春节职工们只能在初一休一天,而领导却能休8天。领导休假完了上班第一天总要开会发表讲话,他每年开场白总是这一句A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway.After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand. "How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked. "We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150."孩子在车库打球时掉了一只隐形眼镜。找了一会儿,他告诉母亲找不到了。母亲出去了,几分钟以后,拿着隐形眼镜回来。“妈妈,你是怎么找到的?”孩子问。“我们找的不是同一件东西,”母亲回答,“你找的是一小片塑料,而我是在找150块钱。”[